Naked Jogger Has Perfect Explanation

A police officer in Washington state was working her usual overnight shift last week when she spotted an unusual figure lurking in the dark.

The officer was driving around the campus of Microsoft's corporate offices when she saw someone pass through a streetlight and noticed the unmistakable sight of a bare butt. As she approached, she realized it was a man jogging, wearing absolutely nothing but sneakers. It was around 3:30 in the morning and very cold, so the officer told him to get into the back of her car.

Once inside the warm vehicle, the officer asked why he was outside running naked, and he gave her what seemed like a perfectly logical explanation. He said he was trying to build up his immune system to fight the cold weather. Since there were no victims and he didn't cause any type of disturbance, the officer let him go with a warning about being naked in public. (UPI)

The Pot Customer Is Always Right

No one likes to get ripped off, and when one Australian woman felt she was getting a bad deal from a salesman, she called police to complain. The problem was, she was trying to buy weed.

The unidentified woman called police to report that her drug dealer was trying to take advantage of her by jacking up his price for marijuana. She argued that his price was "outrageous" and wanted cops to do something about it. But when the dispatcher tried to get more information from her, she hung up.

The police department is not pursuing the woman or the dealer, but is using this story to try to catch other dealers. They posted a message on Facebook that reads, "If you know a drug dealer who is ripping you off, give us a call, we'd love to help. (UPI)

Ménage A-ssault

An Arizona woman who tried to make her boyfriend's fantasy come true is sitting in jail after she stabbed him with a scissor for turning down her offer.

Cops say 42-year-old Teresa Gillard met a woman at a local dog park and the two hit it off. They got to talking, and Teresa invited the woman home to engage in a threesome, which her boyfriend had also talked about. But when she got home and surprised him, he said he wasn't feeling well and wasn't in the mood.

Police say Gillard got angry and stabbed her boyfriend multiple times in the arm and abdomen with a scissor. He suffered minor lacerations. Teresa, who said she'd been drinking, admitted to the violent act and was charged with assault and disorderly conduct. (Today's News-Herald)

Snake Owner Makes Huge Missstake

Snakes can slither in and out of just about anything, but a woman's pierced earlobe should not be one them.

Why anyone would allow a pet snake to wriggle through a stretched-out ear piercing is something perhaps only Ashley Glawe can explain. The Oregon woman took herself to the emergency room when she couldn't get her ball python, named Bart, out of her earlobe. Ashley claims she was holding the snake near her ear when it decided to crawl in. She explains, "I tried to get him out myself and I knew I wasn't going to be able to without hurting him by pulling him back against his scales."

Ashley posted a picture of the ordeal on Facebook. (Huffington Post)



Stunning Bucket List Wish

A terminally-ill teen in Ohio is getting to fulfill her bucket list one wish at a time, and on Sunday she got to cross off perhaps the most bizarre bucket list item ever.

16-year-old Alyssa Elkins suffers from leukemia and was recently given four months to live. So she quickly set out to fulfill everything on her bucket list. The list includes things like going to Disney World, getting a puppy, and trying on a wedding dress. On Sunday, she got to cross one item off when she shot someone with a Taser.

The local police department learned of her desire to shoot someone with a stun gun, so they made it happen. Elkins was invited to the police station where eight officers volunteered for target practice. 50 people came to watch as Alyssa took aim and Tasered the officers one by one. Each target had two spotters holding on to make sure he didn't fall to the floor and get hurt. One of the officers said, "It is unpleasant to say the least. But if for five seconds it makes somebody's dream come true, especially someone in her situation, I think it was well worth it no matter what." (WBNS-TV Columbus, Ohio)

Guy Busted for Drunk Wheeling

Police in Pennsylvania nabbed one of the most unusual drunk drivers they've ever seen over the weekend.

Cops say 47-year-old Charlie Ray Carroll was drunk and using a wheelchair to get around, which isn't really against the law. But he was so drunk that he kept trying to grab onto the back of passing cars as they drove by him. It's not known why the man needs a wheelchair or if he's hoping the activity becomes the newest extreme sport. But cops say it was extremely dangerous, and he was arrested and charged with public drunkenness. (PennLive)

Disgrace of Spades

A West Virginia man is facing up to 18 years in prison after he left a casino, robbed a bank, and then returned to the casino to continue playing.

52-year-old Kerry Johnson was having a bad day at the blackjack table inside the Mardi Gras casino near Charleston. He put down a $25 chip to hold his spot while he stepped away. He then headed to a bank, where he handed the teller a note saying he had a bomb and another weapon. The teller handed him $5000 and Johnson ran out of the bank.

Moments later, he returned to his spot at the blackjack table and continued playing. The next day, police acted on an anonymous tip and visited Johnson at his house. There, they found a yellow legal pad matching the paper used in the note he handed to the teller, and also a hat that matched the one he wore in the surveillance footage. A subsequent search turned up large sums of cash stuffed inside his couch cushions, and detectives later found out that $500 of the stolen money had been used at the casino.

Johnson claims he was on a lot of drugs at the time. He's scheduled to be sentenced in March. (Charleston Gazette-Mail)



Anti-Social Media

An Arizona man got some strong Facebook dislikes from local police after posting a request for help in launching a mass shooting spree in his hometown.

Thomas Hunter logged onto his account on Wednesday to ask "Anyone going on a mass killing spree with me?" He promised volunteers that they'd be hunting humans "in a fun-filled way" with "the most entertaining crime scenes ever imagined." He didn't get any takers, but he did alarm at least one online friend enough to call cops, who paid the 25-year-old a visit.

Hunter insisted the post was a "joke," but he was still hauled in on a charge of making terroristic threats. (ABC 15)

The Cat in the Hat Got Busted

A Florida crook had cops put a cap on his crime spree -- after tracking him down through DNA on a cap he left behind while trying to swipe a car.

The overnight security guard at a used car dealership in Hollywood spotted Michael Jerry Saul on the lot and took off after him, then noticed he and an accomplice had driven a Hyundai Sonata through a hole cut in the barrier fence. Whoever was behind the wheel racked up the vehicle by smacking into a tree stump, but they managed to flee in their original car -- leaving Saul's baseball cap behind.

Crime scene technicians swabbed the hat and found a match in the state's DNA crime database, which led to Saul's arrest on charges of burglary and grand theft auto.

Guess you could say he didn't use his head! (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)

Politician Attacks Sagging Pants

A Southern lawmaker wants to make sure nobody ever has to see anyone's underwear in public.

Republican Tom Weathersby of the Mississippi House of Representatives is sick and tired of seeing men wearing saggy pants, and thinks there should be a law on the books to prevent it. A bill Weathersby has proposed would make it "unlawful for any person to wear pants, shorts or clothing bottoms that exposes underwear or body parts in an indecent or vulgar manner."

The penalty for first-time offenders is just a warning, but minors will get a note sent to their parents. Second-time offenders will be fined $20, with fines escalating to $100 for a sixth offense. And six-time offenders will be ordered to get psychological and social counseling. (Esquire)

Angry Falcons Fan Says "No" to Sam

Atlanta Falcons fans are angry about a column in a Boston newspaper which slammed them for having "absolutely zero enthusiasm for professional sports."

The article, written by Boston Globe columnist Dan Shaughnessy, suggested that New England Patriots fans are finding it "hard to get pumped up about a Super Bowl against ... Atlanta."

Not surprisingly, there are many in Atlanta who don't see it that way. Viral Chhadua, the manager of a suburban gas station, is fighting back by banning the sale of Samuel Adams beer in his store. He says he will not carry the Boston brew until after the Super Bowl.

The brewer responded to the ban on Twitter by writing, "Won't be their only loss." The company later added, "And don't worry Atlanta. We're still drinking Coca-Cola" -- which is headquartered in Atlanta. (ESPN)




A New York woman got really upset when she forked over big bucks for a designer dress and found out the garment was a little too ratty -- because there was a dead rat actually sewn into the fabric.

Cailey Fiesel bought two frocks from a Connecticut location of the high-end clothing chain Zara, and hung them at the back of her closet waiting for the cool weather to kick in. Recently Fiesel decided to wear one of the dresses to work, but when she arrived at the office, she began to smell a rat. Literally.

After noticing the foul smell, Fiesel says she also noticed what she thought was a loose thread dangling from the hem of the outfit, and when she bent down to tug at it, she found the thread was actually the leg of a small, decayed rodent. She freaked out and tore off the dress in the bathroom, where she found the rest of the rat, stitched right into the skirt of the garment.

Feisel is suing for unspecified damages -- and we're guessing Zara could end up owing her a lot of cheddar. (New York Daily News)

Covering the Ranch in Dressing

A Wyoming woman learned a whole new meaning for "house dressing" after a bottle of store-bought salad topping exploded all over everything.

Divel McLean was tossing some greens in a friend's house when she heard a loud popping sound and saw dressing shooting everywhere. She told reporters she grabbed a camera to take photos of the scene in order to show the homeowner the carnage, saying it was "like firecrackers going off."

McLean later found out that she wasn't the only one who got tossed by her own salad: the makers of Dorothy Lynch dressing had recalled a whole batch due to bacteria that was making what was in their bottles ferment, bubble and even explode. That made the mess easier to explain to her friend. She said she was worried about saying, "I was attacked by a bottle of salad dressing. He probably thought I was in the whiskey or something." (Daily Mirror)

Ninja on the Loose

Police in Alaska are looking for a ninja who stealthily slipped into a comic book store after hours and stole a katana sword.

The culprit, dressed in black from head to toe, looked and behaved every bit like a ninja except he wasn't able to pull off his heist without being spotted by the surveillance camera. It looks like the ninja was inside the store for a few minutes and only took the sword although employees are checking their inventory. Police are asking for anyone who knows a ninja to contact them. (UPI)

Assault and Noodlery

A Florida man is under arrest after attacking his live-in boyfriend with a wet noodle.

Police say 40-year-old Michael Herrick and his boyfriend got into an argument about alleged infidelity when things got physical. Herrick is accused of throwing a cup of ramen noodles at the victim, striking him in the neck. He also apparently threw water on him. When officers arrived at their home, they arrested Herrick -- an ex-con who was previously convicted of grand theft -- and charged him with domestic battery. He was held briefly and released. (The Smoking Gun)

Trump Driving

A Minnesota woman, arrested for drunk driving, told police they should let her go because she was upset about Donald Trump winning the election.

33-year-old Elizabeth Lundberg rear-ended a vehicle, which caused it to crash into another car. When officers arrived, they suspected she was drunk because she was slurring her speech, couldn't remember how to spell her name and had an empty bottle of vodka in her purse. She then allegedly told police, "I am upset over the outcome of the election and you should let me go home." Although her excuse might explain why she felt the need to drink in the first place, it's no excuse for getting behind the wheel of a car and driving. Her blood-alcohol level was four times over the legal limit and she was arrested for driving while intoxicated. (KARE-TV Minneapolis)



Get Your Goat -- Into the Car!

A Florida man ignored advice that he was looking to indulge a really ba-a-a-a-ad idea, and succeeded in hitch-hiking across the country with his pet goat.

Erick Brown doesn't have a driver's license, but he didn't let that stop him from embarking on a two-year trek that took him to the West Coast and back, accompanied by his horny little friend, who he's named Deer. He staged the trip to raise money for his Rock Club Foundation, an organization designed "to encourage people to follow their dreams."

Brown's own dreams are big ones: He's already run for President once, even though he's still five years too young to hold the office, and he may try the coast-to-coast thing with Deer again. But he grants there are barriers, saying, "[He] limited me. I can't get a hotel. I can't get on a bus with a goat." (Destin Log)

Dump Truck!

A Florida truck thief got a frosty reception from cops after she was arrested for pooping in a Wendy's parking lot -- and then dropping a second load in the cruiser on her way to the station.

Robin McKenzie was detained by an officer on routine patrol after he spotted her squatting in a Wendy's parking lot, dropping the wrong kind of hot and juicy item in front of a pickup truck she'd been driving. After explaining that she couldn't get into the closed restaurant and really had to go, McKenzie was given a citation and drove off -- but was quickly pulled over when the deputy ran the truck's plates and found it had been reported stolen.

As it turns out, the vehicle belonged to McKenzie's mom, who said that it was idling in her driveway when the suspect hopped in and drove off without permission. She was cuffed and thrown in the back of the cop's cruiser, where she dropped a second deuce on her way to the precinct. (TC Palm)

Skunks and Tigers and Daughter, Oh My!

A Houston woman was accused of selling a kitten to a man in California and then never delivering the animal -- but got in much bigger trouble after cops found a zoo inside her home.

Police visited the home of Trisha Meyer to talk to her about the kitten sale. But they were stunned when they went inside and found wild animals, including three tigers, a cougar, a skunk and a fox. All of the animals were allowed to roam freely around the house. Cops also found Meyer's 14-year-old daughter inside the house.

Meyer, who was not home at the time, was later located and arrested in Nevada. She's charged with child endangerment. The animals have all been confiscated. (CBS News)

Can You Dig It?

A couple of brothers from Slovakia are the winners of that country's Second Annual International Grave Digging Championship.

This grim-sounding competition featured 11, two-person teams from Slovakia, Poland and Hungary -- each one trying to bury the competition. The grave-digging teams are required to dig a hole that is exactly five-feet deep, six-and-a-half feet long and three feet wide. The winning duo, using shovels and picks, finished their grave in 54 minutes. All of the participants work as grave-diggers and the competition is meant to show how difficult the job is. (The Guardian)

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